What is parenting consultation, and how is it different from therapy?

Parenting consultation coaches the parent, not the child. Instead of putting your child in treatment, we work on what you do at home — the routines, responses, and language that shape behavior. It is practical and time-limited: you leave with strategies you can use that evening. It is not psychotherapy, and it is not a diagnosis.

Alexis Hinchey Davis is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (LICSW #113150, Massachusetts) with a Master of Social Work from Boston College. For over 15 years she guided pediatricians on children's emotional and behavioral challenges through the Massachusetts Child Psychiatry Access Project at Tufts Medical Center, where she was trained in the Incredible Years and Triple P programs that anchor her consulting practice.

What approaches do you use?

Two evidence-based parenting curricula with decades of research behind them: the Incredible Years and Triple P (Positive Parenting Program). Rather than handing you a manual, sessions adapt what works in those programs to your children, your household, and your constraints.

How much does it cost, and is there a free option?

The first step is a free 15-minute consultation with no cost and no obligation — tell me what's going on, and I'll tell you how I can help. Ongoing coaching is a paid service; rates are discussed on that first call.

Do you work with families outside Massachusetts?

Parenting consultation is coaching rather than clinical treatment, so it is available more broadly than licensed therapy, and sessions are held by video. Clinical services requiring a Massachusetts license are limited to Massachusetts. If you are unsure which you need, ask on the free call.

My child is having tantrums and nothing works. Can this help?

That is the most common reason parents call. Repeated tantrums, refusal, or defiance usually have a pattern underneath them — a trigger, a routine, or a response loop that is quietly reinforcing the behavior. Consultation identifies that pattern and replaces it with a specific plan you can run consistently, which is what actually changes behavior.

What ages do you work with?

Families with young children through adolescence. The Incredible Years and Triple P frameworks both scale across ages; the strategies change with the developmental stage, but the underlying method — clear expectations, consistent responses, connection first — does not.

How do I get started?

Book the free 15-minute call. Tell me what's going on, and I'll tell you how I can help. The strategies come in the sessions, built for your family.

A straight answer

My 4-year-old hits when he's frustrated. How do I make it stop?

Alexis Davis, LICSW. Parenting consultation, Medford MA and Greater Boston.

A four-year-old who hits when he's frustrated is not a bad kid, and you're not a bad parent. At this age the feeling arrives faster than the words for it. It's common, and it changes, because the fix is a skill, and four-year-olds learn skills fast.

Why he hits

His sister has the truck he wants. He's too frustrated to find the words, so he hits. Hitting also tends to work: the truck appears, or his sister leaves. And it always gets a reaction. Those payoffs keep it going.

Right after a hit

Step in, separate, and say one calm line: "No hitting. Hitting hurts." Then turn your attention to the child who was hit, not the one who hit. The hitter gets no audience, and the hurt child gets the comfort. Every adult who cares for him should respond the same way, in the same calm voice.

Teach what to do instead

Hitting stops for good when something else takes its place: words like "I'm mad!" or "My turn next!", practiced when everyone is calm. Then catch him using them and name it right away. That moment matters most. I have two boys, so I've pried my share of trucks out of small fists. It's easier to stay calm enough to catch it when you're not running on empty, so make room for your own time too.

Why I do it this way

None of this is my opinion. Each step comes from programs with decades of research behind them. Here is the research, in plain words, with the study under each one.

Words for the feeling
In a randomized trial of 216 parents of four- and five-year-olds, teaching parents to coach their children's emotions led both parents and teachers to report fewer behavior problems afterward.
Source: Havighurst and colleagues, Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 2010
Praise the replacement, every time
Across 154 parenting trials, praise was among the techniques most tied to results, which is why catching him using his words is the heart of this plan.
Source: Leijten and colleagues, Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 2019
One calm response from every adult, never a harsh one
The Incredible Years program behind this plan has been tested in 50 controlled studies, and the American Academy of Pediatrics finds that yelling at or shaming children is not effective in the long term.
Source: Menting and colleagues, Clinical Psychology Review, 2013; Sege and Siegel, Pediatrics, 2018

When to call your pediatrician instead

Talk to your pediatrician if he's injuring other children or animals, if the hitting comes with other big changes in sleep, speech, or play, or if you've run the same plan for a month and nothing has changed. Those are a doctor's questions. This page is parenting consultation, not therapy and not a diagnosis.

15 minutes, free.

Tell me what's going on, and I'll tell you how I can help.

Book the free call